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Subject: Re: 俳句
From: Glenn
Date: Fri, 12 Jun 2009 04:00:54 GMT
References: 1, 2


> > 早朝に
> > 鳴る小鳥たち
> > 眠れない
>
> The rhythm of 5-7-5 morae is okay.
>
> The verb for birds is () く, not () る. And you need a word that stands for a season, say, spring. Using (はる) (あさ) instead of 早朝 (そうちょう) に is just fine.

Heh... that's a bit embarrassing (鳴る instead of 鳴く, that is). (汗)

Thanks for the corrections. I had thought it just had to be nature-related, not that it needed a seasonal word, but after I saw you write that I remember seeing 季語を含む in the definition, which is pretty explicit. 添削をありがとうございます!



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